Not Win or Lose. But: Win or Learn!

March 5, 2018

Failure. F-a-i-l-u-r-e. I hate it. Hate the word. Hate everything about it.

Who doesn’t actually?

 

The thing is:
Our perception of failure is what makes it hurt.
Makes it sting.
More than any bee, more than any needle.

But what if I tell you that failure is a necessary ingredient for an extraordinary life.

Now let’s take a look at how I perceive failure. At least, how I made myself perceive it. Forced myself, really.
My brother always say my mind is very dichotomic.
Just my fancy way of saying: I think in terms of wins and losses.

Winning. Or losing.
You know, I didn’t start it. It started me. Life did it.
Life makes you win or lose.
You win, or lose.
Nowadays, because all the trials and tribulations, I very much think like that. Because I have to. There is no other way. It is rooted in my rational decision-making process.

Should I do this? Or that?
Go for this or that?
Will I come out on top?
Can I win this or that?
If I were to lose, what will be the backlash?
If I were to win, how would that feel?

Now coming back to failure. If you do something, you can win.
Or lose. Or fail.
That’s where it starts to get real. Failure is where the hurt starts, and you stop doing shit. Cause let’s face it, you don’t wanna. You lose motivation. Cause you got bitchslapped in da face by life.
Sometimes it’s worse.
You get gutpunched right in the soft spot.
Your heart.
Emotional pain can be much worse than physical pain.

But failure is where the trial starts. Your trial starts.
You have to take that failure. And learn. You really have to apply your conscious rational detached unemotional mind to it. And learn from it.
So that it’s not win or lose. But win or learn.

Every loss can set you up for a win. If you let it. If you force it. If you make it so. If you create it so.
Creating means conscious choice.
You choose to make your failure today, to be a win tomorrow.

Every failure is a chance to be brave. To step up. To take the adversity, and make it mold you.
Into something new.
Shiny and glorious.
Extraordinary.
 
Let’s go deeper and darker, and talk about when it gets worse than worse.
The worst kind of failure is a near win. Where you’re JUST shy of reaching your goal.
And the thing you wanted so badly you’d sell your soul for to the nearest Crossroads Demon gets ripped away right in front of your eyes.

The thing you’d die for. You’d put your head on the blade for it. You’d hammer your head on a stake for it.

You know what I mean. You know these things. You feel it, and have felt it.
But again, even here, at the down-end of the dark spiral of failure is where the trial ends.
In the darkness of failure is where the triumph starts.
Without darkness light does not exist.
No trial, no triumph.

This is where you flip the switch. In the dark, you turn on the light. Yeah, you.
You decide.

Triumph starts when you stop calling it failures. It starts when you stop using the word. Indefinitely. Triumph starts when you learn.
Triumph starts with near wins.
Are you failing? Good. You’re almost there. Just keep going.

Stay Extraordinary!

Kev

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